All Good Things...Start Somewhere

Dear Baby BR:

There are some things I need to let you know before you turn 6:

- Your head will remain that shape and proportional size. It is unfortunate. You will have many bad haircuts given to you by Mother. She is Polish. You are Mexican for all practical purposes. Mother just does not understand that kind of hair.

- Your haircut will only further contribute to being called a Little Boy by idiots on the street. You are not a Little Boy. You cannot help the haircut Mother gave you. There are worse things to be called than the opposite gender. (You'll be called those nasty things later in life. I'll write you another note to explain.)

- Father will not stick around. He will make you laugh. He will yell at you. He will buy you the things that Mother will not. But he will not hug you. And he certainly will not remember your birthday. It's not that big of a deal, though. You won't like birthdays anyways down the line - yours or anyone else's. He kind of did you a favor there.

- Baby Brother will always be that annoying. It comes with the territory. But your instincts to protect him are spot on. He is a daredevil and will need to be talked out of a lot of stupid things that will certainly result in stitches. This is a big responsibility.

- Uncle J won't be around a lot in these early years. But he will be a rock during some of the hardest years to come. Just be on your best behavior. He is easily annoyed with things like teeth grinding and milk slurping.

- You won't have a lot of expensive things for awhile. Well, no expensive things, if I am going to be honest. But again, don't worry. Mother can make lots of things happen with just pennies. And you'll always have everything you truly need. The superficial stuff will come later. I promise.

- You are not normal. This will be your earliest thought that you can recall. You may have already felt that, but because of your status as a baby, have not been able to articulate it. If you can, don't worry about this right now. Even if you figure yourself out, no one else will get it. Not until you get to college, at least. Eccentricity becomes cooler down the road.

You may think that I am leaving some things off of this list. But everything you really need to know right now has been covered.

I will check back later.

BR